Where have we been?

Well we started out heading to lake Havasu, then we went to Jackson Hole and ended going to Yellowstone. All the while going hiking, camping, to Raging waters and Lagoon. I have some pics but I had camera issues and I didn't find myself wanting to constantly be snapping pics. The best feeling in the world is looking at your kids faces and seeing Happy in those precious little eyes. So now, we head into fall, which does make me sad. But that is the new challenge, isn't it? Finding joy in every season. So that is what I intend to do! Love you All! :)

Gimme an "M"

Well my sweet little bear has done it again. She is so cute I can hardly stand it. So last Saturday my girls went shopping with Trav's mom and sisters. Well if there is a girl that can shop it is my Brooke. Well she was helping grandma pick stuff out, looking for the right size and everything. She saw the letter M on a shirt and said "look grandma M is for Maximum!" I think grandma Patty got a chuckle out of it, and obviously I did if I am putting it on my blog. Anyways my kids are my life and I love to experience everything about them.

Up and gone!

We got a call last Wednesday, from my friend. He said that he and his family were staying at his families vacation home in Lake Havasu California. He invited me and my kids there for a few days. So we packed and left early Thursday morning. It was so fun to throw caution to the wind and take off. The kids were so excited. We rode on their boat, rode their sea-doo's, played on a water trampoline, me and Nate knee boarded and Nate got go Cliff jumping. Plus I learned how to drive a 4-wheeler. It was amazing. We were suppose to come home on Sunday morning, but they invited us to stay a few extra days. So we came home on Tuesday. I didn't get many pictures because we were on the water constantly and I was worried about the camera and the water but I got a few. At the lake there is a giant bridge named "London Bridge" which London ate up. It was a great trip. The temperature was well over 100 degrees everyday. I am grateful to my friends who have really been so kind to me and my family. There is no way I could ever have been able to give my kids a vacation like this without the help of my friend. So far Summer is off to a great start!! :)

And Life goes on...

I just thought I would write a little that we are ALL doing good. It seems that with all the rumors and negativity stopped we have been able to begin to heal. It is so surprising to people the way that we have handled this. Which I think is sad. I think that once you have been married to someone, shared your life with them, been everything to the other person you should always have a special friendship with that person. We are moving forward and doing our best to take care of our 3 great kids. Trav's mom was talking to London last weekend about everything. She asked what she thought about the divorce London said "I think it is for the best, now there won't be so much yelling" which is hilarious because if you know Trav and I you would know that we don't yell, At no time in our marriage (I think) there has been yelling, but she can rest assured that now there won't be any yelling. Then Patty told London that if she ever wanted to call her to talk she could, to which London responded that she couldn't. Well you are all thinking that her mean mom won't let her (I was thinking that is what she was going to say) so Patty asks her why? and she says "I don't have your phone number" so I think it is safe to say that the kids are doing good, they have lots of support from lots of different people who love them and care deeply about them. So now life goes on. Thanks to so many people for reading this blog, commenting and offering friendship during our time of trial. You have been prayed for by our family and your prayers have brought us so much comfort and helped get us to this point! Love YA'll

A Celebration of Life!

Today is the 2 year anniversary of my mom's passing. I have a very heavy heart, she was a wonderful person. Was she perfect no, are any of us no, least of all I am certainly not perfect. But did she love her family perfectly...yes. She loved her family like no one else. She was fiercely loyal, kind, giving, very benevolent and extremely good. She didn't have to be the center of attention, but was always content to let others shine. She was the kind of woman, who once you knew her you were better for it. She had the dry-est sense of humor and loved to laugh. I miss her every minute of every day. I see her in the eyes of my kids, I see her in their little faces, and I see her in me. I am most grateful for the time that I did get to have her on Earth as my mom, and I know she is proud of me, she loves me, and she understands me. So if you knew this wonderful woman, I hope that you will think of her, and know that she walks with us everyday in our hearts! Love you mom!

WhAteVer hapPened to juSt being NiCe?

This is written by Trav:
My purpose with this post is to help everyone to see that Cindy is a good person and there are circumstances that people don’t understand and because of this they should not judge either Cindy or me with what is happening. Actually what I am asking is that people treat Cindy with both love and respect. First, I have to say that this is something I never imagined would happen to me and the divorce is something I don't want to happen and I would do anything to stop it. That being said, this is not just about what I want. Two years ago when we were in the car accident not only did Cindy lose her entire life, I lost the girl I had been married to for over 10 years. Although she looked the same she was different. This didn't mean that I loved her any less but just the opposite, I love her more now than ever before. I will continue to love her as long as I live. I know Cindy better than anyone else alive except for herself. Whenever anyone asks questions about life prior to the accident I am probably the best person able to answer these questions. Well, after two years of someone telling you what you liked and didn’t like, why we don’t have a dog and why we don’t want one, and everything else about your life that you just don’t have an answer to Cindy wants to experience life without me. Cindy has been a great wife and friend and we will continue to be great friends.
People have expressed concern about Cindy’s ability to take care of the children. She is a wonderful mother. I have heard rumors from those considered friends as far as how she has done at being a mother and know that these rumors are not true. Why someone would spread hurtful rumors is beyond me. The rumors that were spread could have been for no other reason than to hurt someone. I just don’t understand this. Why would someone make up complete garbage and then tell people about it? And why would the people being told this believe the rumors without first checking into their truthfulness? The only conclusion for this is that the person is jealous for some reason and wants to do whatever they can to hurt that person. I am not going to mention any names but I know who is spreading the rumors and they need to stop. If they continue I will confront you so I can understand what is so wrong in your life that you need to try and ruin someone else’s. Cindy has done a fantastic job taking care of the kids and I have no concerns about her ability to continue to do so. I am trusting Cindy with my most precious things. I would not do anything to hurt my children or put them in danger in any way. So if I trust Cindy with my children why wouldn’t everyone else trust her?
Since there is no way I can stop the divorce there is no reason to fight and cause problems that don’t need to exist. The only thing people need to know about this is that Cindy, the kids and I will all be taken care of and be fine.
I appreciate all of the concern everyone shows to me. I have received support from sources I never imagined. And although I appreciate this, the best way people can show their support to me and my family is to make sure Cindy is doing okay. Cindy is going through something that very few people can even hope to understand. As hard as this is, I will continue to support Cindy in what she feels she needs in her life. What I don’t understand is why if I can support Cindy in this, why can’t others do the same without telling her what they feel she should be doing?
I understand that people have the best of intentions and in most cases they really do mean well. When someone is going through a hard time, the last thing they want to hear is everything people feel they are doing wrong. Actually most of the time the best thing to do is make sure the person that is struggling is doing okay. We may not agree with what they are doing but this doesn’t give us the right to judge them. One example of this is why would someone tell Cindy she is going to Hell? I can’t even see how this would help. Is that supposed to inspire someone to change the way they are doing things? Is that what the Savior would do? I don’t think he would. People express concern to me about how they should approach Cindy because they are worried about offending her. What is wrong with just asking her how she is doing and then just listening to her? You may not agree with the result of what is going on. You don’t have to agree with it but it doesn’t hurt anything or anyone to just listen and show concern for someone’s well being.
Cindy mentioned that I have been doing everything for everyone else but nothing for me. That is where I have found happiness and I love to do things for other people. However, when you get on an airplane one of the first things they tell you to do in case of an emergency is put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then on your children. The reason for this is obvious; you are no good to your children if you are dead. Sometimes you need to worry about yourself first. My hope is that down the road Cindy has answered the questions in her life that she wants answered and we end up back together. Whether this happens or not isn’t as important as both of us being happy. Until then, I am just going to find myself a couple of hobbies and work on some things that define who I am. I will still be a part of the family and I will continue to do everything I can to be a major part of their lives.

HeRe is the Run doWn

I had hoped that by not saying much that people would mind there own business but this is not the case. So I am going to share my story. I was in a car accident 2 years ago. Since that time I have tried my absolute hardest to be the person that I have been told I am. I have tried to learn as much about myself through everyone else's eyes. I said what I thought I needed to say, I have acted as I have been told I was "suppose to", I have done everything in my power to fit back into the person who I was "before" the accident. I have only wanted to be loved. I have loved. I have trusted. Well I finally realized that life wasn't meant to be lived this way. I am a different person than I was before the accident. Yes there are similarities to the girl I was, but I need to be given a chance to make my own choices, my own mistakes, live my own life. That is what this is about. Trav is a great man. He has been through so much and been so brave and strong. He has suffered a tremendous loss. He has been so willing to completely live his life for someone else. But at the end of the day, that is not what living life is really about. We separated in early May and now we are getting divorced. There are worse things in life than a divorce. People act like death is better. Well it is not. I will always love Trav, our children are the most important part of of our lives. I am a really good mother. I love those kids and take care of them more than anyone else in this world. That will never change. Our heavenly father has given us the gift of agency, and yet so many of you would rather I live a life without mine. And you are wrong. I have suffered more than any of you will ever know. This decision didn't come easily and thanks to most of you it has been extra painful. People that i thought loved me have lashed out to me, in the most cruel and hurtful way. You have told Trav to take my kids away from me and that he needs to take everything and never look back. Well shame on you. The most shocking part is that the ones saying this are the ones who are the "church go-ers" the ones who really should know better. My Heavenly Father loves me and my family and he understands. Outsiders have no idea what I have been through or what I need, and yet you feel your selfs qualified to judge me. Well you are wrong. Our ward has turned their back on me, and as a result I am no longer going to go to my home ward. I have a strong testimony of my Savior and that will never change. I need to go where I can be accepted and loved. I will go to a ward where this can happen. The next time you open your mouth to gossip or judge someone I hope you will know that all that you say and do will be returned to yourself someday. Trav and I are very much still friends this will continue. If you truly want to help him you will stop bad mouthing me, and love him. Trust his judgment in this. He is a smart man, who knows me better than anyone, and if he can understand than maybe you need to as well. I hope to hear from anyone who can truly be a good Christ-like friend. Thank you for the prayers in my families behalf. They have helped us get to this place. They will continue to help us heal and get through this. I hope this helps everyone to calm down. We are going to be fine and our story isn't over, it is just changing a bit. Thanks for taking the time to read this!

It's great to be Eight!

Yes, that's right my little handsome man is #8 on his baseball team. He looks so dang cute and official in his uniform. He really loves this sport. I had been very hesitant to put him in baseball but he really loves it. So what do I know???? If you want to come to one of his games shoot me a line and let me know. Also for anyone that was confused about my April fools joke, it was soap in the shape of a piece of cake. but it was all 100% soap. :)

Whore!

You just gotta love my little Brooklyn. She is the sweetest, cutest, biggest little silly girl you will ever meet. Who I love dearly! Here are just a couple of stories that have made us giggle quite a bit, so I thought I would share them. So we have a pen that is in the shape of a golf club, it is a very fun little pen, and last Sunday I was doing the dishes and Brooke was just in the kitchen chatting to me. She picked up the pen and yells "Whore"....I looked up and see her swinging the pen like she is golfing so I think well she might have mis-spoke or maybe I heard wrong. Then she does it again and yells "Whore" well this time I look at her and say "No the word is FORE not Whore" she says "oh I know I just like the word Whore"....this time I tell her "NO that is actually an offensive word and we shouldn't say that" to which she replied "Oh" she honestly had no idea what she was saying. Ok, so now story #2. At the Schaugaard Easter Party Uncle Jake told Brooke that on a scale of 1 to 10 she was an eleven. She was very offended and huffed off. We thought that was funny all by itself, because anyone who knows Jake knows what a kidder he is, so you are actually wiser to not trust him. But Trav thought he would help explain that this wasn't a put down. He told her "you know when you take a spelling test if you could get 10 points or 1 point what would you rather get?" she says "10" so Trav thinks she is understanding where he is going with this, he says "well if 10 is the most and you are 11, Uncle Jake must think you are really pretty dontcha think?" and she says " So if Uncle Jake was my teacher he would give me 100% on all my spelling tests" I don't think she was following him quite as much as he thought she was. She is the most innocent little girl and I am very happy about that. I hope you enjoyed getting a little glimpse of our special girl!!!! Check back I will be doing quite a lot of blogging this week to catch everyone up on our Spring Break!!!

ApRiL FoOlisHneSS!

Well, another April Fools day has come and gone. Thank goodness! Even with a warning from T-Rav to be careful, I got punKeD twice...not once but TWICE! And YeS once was by my adoring hubby. Ok, here is the run down. T-rav had his boss and a few of his co-workers go out of town on a business conference to Colorado, the lady who was driving got on FaceBook and said that her car had broken down, no joke this really happened, so t-Rav texted me bad news. I immediately called him where he told me that he had to drive to Colorado to pick them up. This seemed completely plausible and so I thought nothing of it....until I was waiting for my kids at the school, when it dawned on me that there are lot's of people who could go pick them up, and they wouldn't need Trav to do this errand. Sure enough they were all giggling like little girls over my falling for their little rouse. So that one was wasn't so bad. Then also at the school waiting for my kiddies, my friend Elisabeth takes out this beautifully wrapped strange looking piece of pink cake. I am not the type to eat new foods easily, but I trust Elisabeth she makes the most wonderful things, that are a little exotic. She next takes out a piece on a toothpick, while asking what kind of cake it was, I pop it right it my mouth. It smelled delicious, well it was soap. I spit it out quickly. Only me and some man fell for it. It took awhile to get the nasty taste out of my mouth. She laughed and laughed. I deserved it, but none-the-less I have had my fill of April Fools day!! Thank goodness I have a whole year to recover!!!

Grandma helps us out!

Trav's mom grandma Patty watched our kids on Saturday so we could go to a party with some of my high school friends. (I had a blast by the way)! When we got there to drop the kids off, London had a very, very loose tooth. Grandma took her right in, and very confidently told her "no problem, we would have it out in a jiffy" true to her word out it came in a jiffy! London was very excited, and so were we that it was finally out. This is her 1st tooth to come out without the dentist having to pull it. She is very proud. Thanks grandma Patty for the assist!!

Gotta Love T-Rav!

Ok, so last night I asked Trav to give Nate a haircut, I was watching American Idol, and was feeling lazy. Nate comes up stairs he looked straight at me and said "I'm done!" I looked and it didn't even look like Trav had cut it, then he turned around I burst out laughing. It was so funny. Trav had just cut the back of his hair. It was hilarious. I took some pictures, I don't think they do it justice. But it was funny none the less. So I thought I would share!

March 2, 2007

On my anniversary of my accident my friend Tony posted this on my wall, I can relate to it so much...so I thought I would share it with you. Maybe it will bring you some peace and comfort on your own journey!


Once upon a time there was this man who lived in a cabin in the woods. Next to his home was a big boulder. One day the Lord came to the man and said to him “I want you to push this rock everyday... Read More”. The man loved God very much and his desire was to obey him.

So everyday the man went outside and leaned his shoulder against the boulder and pushed against it. Although he did it everyday the boulder didn't move even a centimeter.

One day Satan came to the man and said to him “Man, why do you push this rock every single day…it isn't even moving. Aren't you wasting time and energy doing this?”

This instilled in the man’s heart doubt and he began to question God. God came to him and the man asked him why he needed to push the rock when it wasn't even doing anything.

God said to him “Did I ever once say to move the rock?”
“No…” the man replied.
“Has pushing the rock made you stronger?” God asked.
“Well, yes it has.” said the man.
“That is why I asked you to push the rock, because it has made you stronger, now let me move the rock…that’s my job.”

I heard this story in a testimony on Sunday, and I had heard it before. I love this story and it helped remind me that our heavenly father has a plan for all of us. We might not know what his plan is, but we can have faith that it is Glorious.

Another Thing!

So as I was pondering my "6 things I am grateful" post, I thought you know there a few things that I neglected to mention so I am amending my previous post.

1. My hubby. we have been through so much in 13 years. And yet, he continues to amaze me. Just when I think I have him all figured out, he goes and shows me that he is an amazing creature. I have no idea how I got so lucky to have him pick me, but man am I very GRATEFUL that he did!

2. My Kids, they are so good to me. I know that as far as moms go, they haven't had it the easiest. I fall all the time, get sick, and I don't enjoy cleaning but through all this they are always there for me. And they step up. They worry about me way more than kids should have to worry about their parent and they never love me less because of it. :)

3. I am grateful for this trial. It has been so hard for me to try to a work my way through. But yes, I am grateful for learning these lessons. Not many of us, get to have our hearts so open. To have to feel your way through life relying on your heart is a great opportunity. I have been loved more than most adults would allow, because of my child-like need for it.

4. I am grateful for all the little things like when someone writes on my Facebook wall or leaves me a comment on my blog. To have people pray for me, and care if I actually have the strength to get out of bed, if I eat, if I make it through the day without crying my face raw and want my advice is priceless. So if you fit into any of those weird categories I am grateful for YOU!!

Ok, well I think that covers what I forgot previously! Thanks for bearing with me!!!

Tagged!

Well I have been having tons of fun with all the Facebook tags that are going around, and now my cute Sis-in-law Steph has tagged me here. So here goes, 6 things I love! Shouldn't be too hard-right!

1. Well My family and friends. When it seems like I can't take one more minute of life, they always rescue me. They are such blessings in my life!

2. Prayer. It is so true "When life is too hard to stand-Kneel" I have been living by this powerful tool. I have spent many many hours on my kneels, and my loving Heavenly Father always hears and answers my many prayers.

3.The Temple. I think life would be too hard to bear, without my knowledge of my eternal family. To know that I will be with my mom again helps give me the strength to keep on keeping on!

4.My husbands job. With all the turmoil in the world right now, I am so thankful that he has a job, and that I can stay home with our kids. We have been blessed so much.

5. As I am writing this I am finding that what I am most grateful for really aren't things. I am grateful for having so many "things" meaning not things in my life! (did that even make any sense?)

6.Right now I am grateful for a warm house. With it lightly snowing outside, I am so grateful that we have warm clothes, warm blankets and these walls to keep the cold outside and the warm inside.

Well that wasn't too painful. Hopefully it made sense. If I tag you please consider doing this, because it makes you feel so good to reflect on what you are grateful for, and you have made a difference in my life!!

That is too funny- I published this without tagging anyone. LOL! OK so I am fixing that:

Julie, Brenda, Tricia, Kirsti, Jenni and Tiffany

The Groom!

Here is the cute little guy that London has decided to marry! He is awfully cute!

The Wedding!

Well it started like any other Saturday, chores, laundry nothing out of the ordinary. Until my sweet little London, who is 6 by the way, announced that today was to be her wedding day. Well I had to hear this, she said that she would be marrying Oliver. He is a very cute little guy whom she met up at the sledding party Gran Carol and grandpa threw for Trav. He is the son of one of Carol's dear friends, Emily. So I thought well she at least she picked someone who comes from a good family.:) So I asked her about having Oliver here for the wedding, and she said that wasn't necessary, we could go ahead without him, she was sure he wouldn't mind.(Spoken like a true little cougar, since she is older than Oliver by about 6 months!) So we proceeded with the wedding. She said it would be at 1:00pm, so we better hurry and get out errands done. I Love this strong little girl! She puts her mind to something and she lets nothing stop her. Nate practiced a new little "Here comes the bride", because she simply didn't want "You've had a birthday" played at her wedding. I was to be the photographer, her dad was to perform the ceremony and she sister was going to walk her down the isle. Luckily she was a bride for Halloween so we had the dress, veil and flowers already. I love my family! Especially during a gloomy January!!!

Man I am struggling to make it!

Whoa, I had no idea January was going to be this blasted tough! I am missing my mom so much. I am falling apart at the seams. My kids are so wonderful. And no one is better to me than T-Rav! I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I am so dang lucky I can't even see straight! But seriously, bear with me, while I fight my way through this pain. I have been spending a lot of time on face book. If any of you out there are not on-you should be. I have found a lot of friends I went to High school with and that has helped. I will fight through this, I appreciate all my friends! And my family!!!

He works hard for the money!!!

My sweet little man, Nater is an awesome kiddo! He had to have 6 teeth pulled on Friday. With hopes that this will give his little mouth some room for the adult teeth to come in and maybe he won't need braces as long or something like that. We prayed that he would do good with this, because we were just going to have our regular dentist do it, not an oral surgeon or other specialist and he did great!! Heavenly Father answered our prayers and the teeth came very easily and quickly. Also I threw in a photo of him wearing my gloves. Gran Carol, got me these as part of my Christmas, she was right it totally has saved my hands for getting so dried out. Well the kids love them too, and I just had to get a picture that one day will bring embarrassment to him. I am crazy about these kids. I love them so much, and I appreciate all that they do to help me!!

Happy B-Day T-Rav!

For T-Rav's 35th birthday, My dad and Carol threw him a party!! They invited us up to the tubing park by their house. It is the one that tows you up the hill and you basically sit until you get to the bottom, when you get up and do it again. Everyone had a blast. I had a bad migraine so I didn't participate, which was really hard because it looked very fun! Thanks Dad and Carol, you guys are the best!