WhAteVer hapPened to juSt being NiCe?

This is written by Trav:
My purpose with this post is to help everyone to see that Cindy is a good person and there are circumstances that people don’t understand and because of this they should not judge either Cindy or me with what is happening. Actually what I am asking is that people treat Cindy with both love and respect. First, I have to say that this is something I never imagined would happen to me and the divorce is something I don't want to happen and I would do anything to stop it. That being said, this is not just about what I want. Two years ago when we were in the car accident not only did Cindy lose her entire life, I lost the girl I had been married to for over 10 years. Although she looked the same she was different. This didn't mean that I loved her any less but just the opposite, I love her more now than ever before. I will continue to love her as long as I live. I know Cindy better than anyone else alive except for herself. Whenever anyone asks questions about life prior to the accident I am probably the best person able to answer these questions. Well, after two years of someone telling you what you liked and didn’t like, why we don’t have a dog and why we don’t want one, and everything else about your life that you just don’t have an answer to Cindy wants to experience life without me. Cindy has been a great wife and friend and we will continue to be great friends.
People have expressed concern about Cindy’s ability to take care of the children. She is a wonderful mother. I have heard rumors from those considered friends as far as how she has done at being a mother and know that these rumors are not true. Why someone would spread hurtful rumors is beyond me. The rumors that were spread could have been for no other reason than to hurt someone. I just don’t understand this. Why would someone make up complete garbage and then tell people about it? And why would the people being told this believe the rumors without first checking into their truthfulness? The only conclusion for this is that the person is jealous for some reason and wants to do whatever they can to hurt that person. I am not going to mention any names but I know who is spreading the rumors and they need to stop. If they continue I will confront you so I can understand what is so wrong in your life that you need to try and ruin someone else’s. Cindy has done a fantastic job taking care of the kids and I have no concerns about her ability to continue to do so. I am trusting Cindy with my most precious things. I would not do anything to hurt my children or put them in danger in any way. So if I trust Cindy with my children why wouldn’t everyone else trust her?
Since there is no way I can stop the divorce there is no reason to fight and cause problems that don’t need to exist. The only thing people need to know about this is that Cindy, the kids and I will all be taken care of and be fine.
I appreciate all of the concern everyone shows to me. I have received support from sources I never imagined. And although I appreciate this, the best way people can show their support to me and my family is to make sure Cindy is doing okay. Cindy is going through something that very few people can even hope to understand. As hard as this is, I will continue to support Cindy in what she feels she needs in her life. What I don’t understand is why if I can support Cindy in this, why can’t others do the same without telling her what they feel she should be doing?
I understand that people have the best of intentions and in most cases they really do mean well. When someone is going through a hard time, the last thing they want to hear is everything people feel they are doing wrong. Actually most of the time the best thing to do is make sure the person that is struggling is doing okay. We may not agree with what they are doing but this doesn’t give us the right to judge them. One example of this is why would someone tell Cindy she is going to Hell? I can’t even see how this would help. Is that supposed to inspire someone to change the way they are doing things? Is that what the Savior would do? I don’t think he would. People express concern to me about how they should approach Cindy because they are worried about offending her. What is wrong with just asking her how she is doing and then just listening to her? You may not agree with the result of what is going on. You don’t have to agree with it but it doesn’t hurt anything or anyone to just listen and show concern for someone’s well being.
Cindy mentioned that I have been doing everything for everyone else but nothing for me. That is where I have found happiness and I love to do things for other people. However, when you get on an airplane one of the first things they tell you to do in case of an emergency is put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then on your children. The reason for this is obvious; you are no good to your children if you are dead. Sometimes you need to worry about yourself first. My hope is that down the road Cindy has answered the questions in her life that she wants answered and we end up back together. Whether this happens or not isn’t as important as both of us being happy. Until then, I am just going to find myself a couple of hobbies and work on some things that define who I am. I will still be a part of the family and I will continue to do everything I can to be a major part of their lives.